deferred live

Today is only yesterday's tomorrow.                                                                   

May I have the origin please?

con.trived | kn-trvd
circa 13251, from O.Fr. controver2 "to find out, contrive, imagine"
  from V.Lat. contropare "to compare"3 (via a figure of speech)
   from Lat. tropus "trope, figure of speech, figurative use of word"
    from Gk. tropos "figuratively, deportment or character"
Sense evolution (in Fr.) was from "invent with ingenuity" to "invent falsely."

my·o·pi·a | mp
circa 1727, medical Latin.
  from Late Gk. myopia "near-sightedness"
   from myops "near-sighted"
    from myein "to shut" + ops ( gen. opos) "eye"

de·fense | d-fns
circa 1297, from O.Fr. defens
  from Lat. defensum "thing protected or forbidden"
   from neut. pp. of defendere "ward off, protect"

It is really quite uncanny that when I heard this word "contrived", I was also hearing a lot of things French. It has happened to me many times now. This correlation kind of thing. I should get used to this by now, more so since I represent the contrived kind. This kind has lost the right to be surprised, because hey how can you be surprised when it was you who prepared the dialogue and delivered it deferred live!?

There is however a contradiction in being myopic and contrived at the same time. By definition, myopic is short sightedness. And to be contrived one cannot afford not to be long sighted! Point to ponder.

But then if you are contrived then you can certainly be defensive at times!

welt·schmerz | vltshmrts
circa 1875, from Ger . Welt "world" + Schmerz "pain"
  from MHG . smërze, from Old High German smerzo

Weltschmerz is a term coined by the German author Jean Paul and denotes the kind of feeling experienced by someone who understands that physical reality can never satisfy the demands of the mind. The psychological pain caused by sadness that can occur when realizing that someone's own weaknesses are caused by the inappropriateness and cruelty of the world and (physical and social) circumstances4.

To the clever, Weltschmerz is a pretext for escapism. I can well imagine various leaders over various time lines, pronouncing Weltschmerz with a distaste and mockery. And dismissing it as an expression of romantic pessimism. Anomie and alienation are dangerous words and Émile Durkheim's book Suicide can never be allowed to be read on prime time TV.

My defense for being contrived, myopic, and defensive is my fear of Weltschmerz and my fear of the allure to end it all.

post scriptum, 29th May 2009

Do you remember arindam yesterday when we were having a conversation amongst the so many that we converse, we talked about ' ishod-ushno ' a.k.a Lukewarm and questions... 3, 4,5 ?
And... around that same time frame someplace else in Washington a middle schooler of Indian origin won the US National Spelling Bee championship for 2009...
Kavya Shivshankar of Olethe, Kansas, effortlessly spelt the word Laodicean - which means indifferent or Lukewarm especially in matters of religion and politics - to claim the title after her only remaining American opponent Tim Ruiter flubbed Maecenas, which means a generous benefactor.

Scripps National Spelling Bee is what I saw on 2006 instead of the 2006 FIFA World Cup final. That's how I know the origin.

December 19th, 2008 at 6:03 pm

Posted in i,sound bytes

Dark Side of The Flashback

Dear None :-)

It was 2000. It could also have been 1999 or 2001, but I am sticking to the circa 2000 because of the effect. I called your office. It was some month and I was not that ‘in’ at that point; contrary, I was ‘out’1 literally; the glamour been stripped out of the phrase ‘far out’. I was out and down of IIT in Calcutta. And feeling shaky2 and apologetic to quite a number of people. I called your office, most probably it was PwC. I was told that None has gone to Germany. The wall fell on November 9, 1989 and the reunification was achieved on October 3, 19903. Therefore I had no question to ask about the east or west (and if the twain will ever meet4 ) and that was it.

I really have no business to spoil the purple haze5 and you will always remain my best friend. I have earned the right to disappear for some time now :-) Let’s put it this way. This is a time out to find the meaning of being and nothingness.6



post scriptum, 5th January 2009
   I did think that life’s too short for the “revenge” thing and three and a half days
   were revenge enough. This is not about who did what at whom and when. This
   is about not being a smart Alec and this is about the unexpected counter intuitive
   shock! :-) I agree, you do need to seriously think about the “grip”! And of course
   this is about the present.

December 6th, 2008 at 11:23 pm

Posted in i

Feeling good

Was good enough for me. The way Janis Joplin sings this! It’s not for nothing that I say, “let the words be theirs, I am done with mine” Cassidy

So this takes me back to 1991. IIT KGP. The potent combination of the intellect with glamour, heightened by the external catalyst of nature and green grass. And so feeling good was naturally good enough for me. Me and my other self mes.

Then comes the track High Hopes from Division Bell, with a somewhat dramatic vocal by Dave Gilmour, but the risk of naivety was never ever a hint. The thread of Rick Wright and the drum-bonding provided by Nick Mason made sure of that. Naivety was million miles away and the effect is profound. Maybe we should pause and give it an ear now (the track High Hopes)

So I set forth in search of my Bobby McGee and I send a message to the clouds and I get an assurance of receipt. The receipt is the last thing I wanted to see.

It is paradoxical that to write about the times bad, the writing time (i.e. this instant), the moment that the bytes are translated to ASCII, must be feeling good. Never ever I wrote anything when I was feeling abject, tired abject or otherwise. I have a nudging suspicion that this is the case with all creation. But again I have erred so many times that it is embarrassing even to the self :-) Ok, so I was writing about feeling good and the recent feel good factor is due to the fact that has been incredible! The book “Taken by Storm” got lost the last time, it came safe and healthy this time around! Wow! And also another contributor was the phone call from Starmarks (the book store) saying that “Death of a salesman” has arrived and it’s mine for the taking. So I went from one end of the city to the other, in an old ambassador hired car, with dust all over my face, to procure “Death of a salesman” :-)

This time around the smiley icon is indeed one of embarrassment.

November 1st, 2008 at 2:10 am

Posted in i

Echoes – Thank you for your music

9830503234 :: Ari – Richard Wright is no more !!! He died on 15th sept after a short struggle with cancer… he was 65

9831190761 :: Ki bolchis?! You sure?

“In the welter of arguments about who or what was Pink Floyd, Rick’s enormous input was frequently forgotten.” I see him staring at me from the wall.from my wall

9830503234 :: without richard there wouldnt hv bn any pf. I feel broken inside. And in the remaining yrs the others will pass by.. its only a lifetime.

9831190761 :: Let’s turn on the Echoes.

9830503234 :: W.H. Auden porechis.. “Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,..” toke pathalam

9831190761 :: “Thank you for your music”. Not “Can i have your autograph?”

Exception To The Rule was published partly on September 19, 2008 in

September 21st, 2008 at 5:54 am

Posted in i,sound bytes

Pied piper of my time

Those were the days of miracle and wonder. The days of simple worries and harmless lies. The days of bliss, though not of the ignorant kind. Maybe not bliss, because didn’t even know that emotion then. And was so good for me and I am sure so good for all the other kids in class IV at Don Bosco Park Circus school.

Goddamn, well I declare have you seen the like?
Their walls are built of cannonballs,
Their motto is don’t tread on me Uncle John’s Band

I am sure I have. Plenty of them. Once the ISC was over, first in bits and then in torrents. And now I see them every where, the omnipresent vermin, and I pine for a piper.

Think this through with me,
let me know your mind,
Oh, what I want to know,
is are you kind?

I really don’t know. And I really do not like the cynic me. I try. I read. I stay awake late into night.

The existence of these pages are just for the self’s roll-back eventuality. One day when I will not be able to remember the fairy tale, I will come back to these lines. And I will sleep to the tune of my piper, who died young.

I live in a silver mine and I call it Beggar’s Tomb;
I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune,
Anybody’s choice, I can hear your voice.
Whoa-oh, what I want to know,
how does the song go?

I heard a phone call me from Paris. And it was my own piper, on my 36th birth day. Will it ever turn out to be the call to follow her? Probably not.

Come hear Uncle John’s Band by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about here beside the rising tide.
Come hear Uncle John’s Band playing to the tide.
Come on along or go alone
He’s come to take his children home.

The Pied Piper of Hamelin

September 17th, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Posted in i

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